Eurovision 2011 - A View from the bleachers
The time has come, the Walrus (who was not Paul) said, to talk of cabbages, kings and the 43 (count ‘em) runners and riders in the 2011 Eurovision stakes. As usual, the songs are being judged on their recorded versions as per the official Eurovision cd and in that order.
- ALBANIA
“Feel the Passion” indeed. This charges along quite pleasantly until she starts shrieking over some chugging guitars and then just fades out. Pleasant as I say, but not a personal favourite.
2. ARMENIA
Hooray for a return to the contest of songs that are titled in Euro-speak and here comes the first “Boom Boom” - or rather first and second as this is two separate songs bolted together, with a swish verse drowned alive by the boom boom chucka chucka chorus. irritating and catchy. This is almost certainly a Top 10 finisher.
3. AUSTRIA
Welcome back to the Alpine territory, a country which hardly ever gets votes, and as a consequent huffed off home in 2007. They return with a belter of a big ballad which Jennifer Hudson will no doubt record on her next cd. “The Secret is Love” builds from an acapella opening to a superb gospel finish. On stage with only 5 backing vocalists and no orchestras this will lose something of its magic, but on cd revel in the lush strings and the soaring vocals. One of the best this year.
4. AZERBAIJAN
Oh oh ey-oh. Here comes the country most gagging to win this contest, and after last year’s cold “Drip Drop” comes a super little piece of modern pop “Running Scared” - not the most uplifting title - but a well-served up duet between attractive looking boy/girl combo Nikki and Elli. It is catchy, gets to a good chorus, and has a fine bridge and isn’t too far from what Take That would offer up. To my mind, this is the most radio friendly song in the contest, the most likely winner - and to be honest it would be a mighty fine one.
5. BOSNIA
Continuing an early run of fine songs, here comes Dino Merlin from Bosnia for his second go at the Contest with the jaunty chug-along “Love In Rewind”. This is as catchy as crabs too, with enough going on to keep you interested - just listen to the trumpet fill come in after about 1 minute 30 secs. I will be surprised if this isn’t garnering a Top 5 finish - and again another really good song. Has the Balkan ethno-votes sewn up - and will probably get mine.
6. BELGIUM
After a cracking run of songs, we come grinding to a halt with this acapella vocal piece of swing “With Love”. It didn’t work for Kosmos a few years back, and the mouth music just sounds a little false and forced when they say “break it down now!”. Bring Urban Trad and Tom Dice back. Little in the way of redeeming features. Enough already! Bring back Azerbaijan. A long 3 minutes.
7. BULGARIA
Piano openings normally herald something worth listening to and this one leads us to our first non-English song so far. “Na Inat” has some rocky guitar work and a slightly screechy female vocal with a nice build into a chorus. Trouble is that is it - just a nice little amuse-bouche. It doesn’t have a killer bridge/middle eight and really needs a power boost to get it across the line. Unlikely to trouble to scoring table much.
8. BELARUS
Last year Belarus had butterflies. This year they don’t minsk words and turbo-folk their way into our hearts with the tourist trade helping “I Love Belarus”. This has a monster of a sing-along chorus, a bit of Rusky balalaika, and no doubt they think they draw a veil across their repressive tendencies. Hey, this is a sparkling 3 minutes that I want to hear time and again. A great summer song especially when it takes away the turbo for the shouts of “I Love Belarus”. It should qualify.
9. SWITZERLAND
Pleasant bells and plucked guitars herald “In Love For A While”, Switzerands finger-clicking entry. I have loved many of the Swiss entries over the past decade, but this na na and na attempt at a song with a bit of a female Mumford & Sons tempo doesn’t remain memorable during the song let alone after. Bring back Belarus please. Dull!
10. CYPRUS
Dramatic song in Greek, with a boldly quiet opening reminiscent of Simon & Garfunkel’s “I’d Rather Be a Hammer” which then after a minute explodes into a bit of a rock out dedicated to “San Angelos”. Not hugely effective and unlikely to be one on repeat. 4 great songs in the first 10 on the cd isn’t bad - this isn’t one of them.
11. GERMANY
Cd 1 continues with Lena and her rather irritating estuary voice trying to emulate last year’s winner with the somewhat creepy “Taken By A Stranger”, which comes out of the same sort of twisted mind that gave us Falco’s “Jeanny” some years back. This has got plenty of interesting twists and turns in the background, and at times echoes “Stray Cat Strut” - but the sum of the parts is much more than the whole. Not a repeat winner.
12. DENMARK
But this is another fantastic song this year with an anthemic sing-along quality. Ok “A New Tomorrow” does sound a little like Andreas Johnson’s song in MF a few years back, but this is aspirational and uplifting. If Joan Baez were singing in Eurovision she may echo these sentiments. The middle eight with its oh-ohs is catchy and the whole thing swells to a finish. Another high finish and a classy song. One of the best of the year.
13. ESTONIA
Unaccountably everyone loves this song. I don’t! It has martial drums; it has kooky vocals; it has pumping drum loops and synthesised computerised voices. Ulp - if Austria needed an orchestra, this really needs to be in a computer game. This has been built trying to tempt kids who like Tiesto to like this. Epic fail. The most overrated song this year. “Rockefeller Street” if you are interested.
14. SPAIN
“Que Me Quiten” or something. Another jaunty but long three minutes. You can’t take the fun they sing. Well this would only be enlivened by a whole host of Jimmy Jumps getting up on stage. This doesn’t hold a candle to last year’s “Algo Pequinito”. Sorry Spain, back to the drawing board.
15. FINLAND
Last year my favourite song was Tom Dice and his guitar. The song has been re-entered this year by Finland’s Paradise Oskar, re-titled “Da Da Dum”, and has been given universal lyrics about saving the planet - and you know what it is da-da-damn good. Catchy, reflective and the nonsense title cleverly hides an intelligent lyric. If there were any justice in the world, this would end up in the top 5, but I can’t see it beating Azerbaijan. Great great little song.
16. FRANCE
“Sogniu” comes next with the “Bolero” drums driving forward an anthemic operatic entry sung in Corsican. This would have them standing on their feet, and has accurately been described as a swelling National Anthem for a country which doesn’t exist. Tipped heavily in the betting and unique amongst 43 songs. But if “Questa Notte” didn’t win, I don’t see this taking the honours - and the ending is weak. But again a good cd song.
17. UK
As is this - “I Can” by Blue. This is again a great radio song and sounds fab on the cd with the depth afforded by multi-tracking the voices. It is also catchy and the chorus is interesting and immediate - all you want in three minutes. The high spots are definitely Lee’s shrieks and it is a great vocal ensemble. It also sounds as if it is modern, although it is fairly timeless. This should be a top 5 finisher too - I know there are lots of them. Another really good song.
18. GEORGIA
This isn’t though. It tries to be all rock chick and has a male rap. Georgia has done some great stuff but “One More Day” only stands out by using the fire/desire rhyme shamelessly whilst trying to rip off Evanescence. This year you are the runt of the Caucasus. No doubt qualifying easily!
19. GREECE
Portentous opening drums with talk of betrayal growled out heralds one of the most interesting Greek entries in many a while. I thought “Opa” last year would do well. This is a more interesting and arresting song, “Watch My Dance”, and the bouzouki are hidden away, and I shall be interested to see where they get the dance in. Dark, swirling, mysterious and fascinating. A cd song rather than a contest song I would guess.
20. CROATIA
Swirling electro synthesised groans herald this year’s Balkan dance-along entry now called “Celebrate”. Wouldn’t it be better under its previous title “Break A Leg”? This has little to celebrate and little to commend it. Fast-forward to Friday and avoid this musical galaxy! Ooh now chocolate sounds good. Key change doesn’t help it!
21. HUNGARY
Cd 1 ends with this year’s fan-favourite “What About My Dreams”, which is confidently tipped to bring the trophy back to Budapest. It fair gallops along like a good front runner should and Kati yelps through the middle part in french. But the whole thing leaves me cold. You have heard this song many an evening in a gay bar and you may even tap your toes. But I don’t see it as a winner.
And so cd 1 comes to a close. I would be mightily surprised if 4 of the top 5 in the final didn’t come from this cd. Only one real stinker and nine really good songs make this a really strong collection. And so on to cd 2 .....
22. IRELAND
Forget the hype and the X-Factor, but this is a catchy punchy great opening cut from Jedward. “Lipstick” has a killer chorus and the ooooh-ah leads into the lines stick in the mind. This is punch the air stuff and the pounding beat will go down a treat. I think this will do much better than the fan polls suggest - a great Britney Gaga of a song.
23. ISRAEL
Dana International returns as the second former winner, and just with Lena, her song is weaker than her winner. “Ding Dong” also tries to sound like a former winner as a title, and the chorus is quite a catchy little number - but its not dancy enough, not mid-paced enough. All in all this doesn’t ring my bell - whatever happened to Anita Ward?
24. ICELAND
Trumpets and swing with Beatlesque lyrics heralds “Coming Home”, this year’s journey story - the songwriter died - but all of that doesn’t mask the fact that this swing-along sing-along is just that weeny bit dull. The chorus suggests we can’t wait for tomorrow; well if this song plays on repeat, tomorrow can’t come soon enough.
25. ITALY
Italy returns after many a year, and also after Iceland, produces a shuffle jazzy swing number “Madness of Love” sung partly in English. Yet more jazzy trumpets show up Iceland with a classier number, not too dissimilar to Roger Cicero’s swing from a few years ago. Is that tap dancing too? Classy and a grower, for an evening swingtime number - not a winner, but pleasant enough!
26. LITHUANIA
Universally derided, “C’est Ma Vie” is a big Disneyesque ballad winsomely sung to initially a piano and then to swelling strings, a ballad bigger than the vocal. This is the sort of sweet sickly song I generallly admire - and her winning mispronunciation of “luff” for love just melts me. A bit of a guilty pleasure. The whole thing swells to a proper climax. Hopefully this will do well.
27. LATVIA
As I hope does this. This is certainly one of my favourites this year. “Angel In Disguise” has a killer chorus and a cheeky lyric. This was most surprising in its attack, its catchiness and the stop before the title is belted out is one of my most-beloved musical tricks. The rap isn’t out of place. Luscious thighs, candy eyes indeed. I can’t see it beating Azerbaijan, but I dearly would love this to win - a fantastic three minutes indeed.
28. MOLDOVA
Also returning are Moldova’s first representative Zdob si Zdub with “So Lucky”, reminiscent of the ska from Athena in 2004. However, it’s not as good, not as memorable - and the use of the muted trumpets (again) doesn’t carry the trick off as well as Italy. I don’t think they will get as good as with Grandma and her drum. Next.
29. MACEDONIA
“Rusinka” has a great catchy opening, a great catchy chorus, an ethnic sound and a beat - so why aren’t people behind this? Well it is the contest’s whipping boys and hate figures Macedonia and it obviously sucks up for the Slav vote with its Russian drinking song middle 8. So what? This is great fun. I can see this sailing into the final and doing much better than people think. Another good song.
30. MALTA
Electro-80s opening and pop-moppet Glen Vella is thumping away with “One Life”. The sound is meaty, beaty, big and bouncy and this sounds great whilst it is here - but lasts exactly one nano second in your brain. There is no quality to the chorus and the middle section is a bit dire. Love me like I love you, Glen sings somewhat desperately. The trouble is Glen, we don’t think you love us much. Ooh and I have forgotten your song.
31. NETHERLANDS
This is aching to be a PROPER song, deep and meaningful, and on cd stands out as it follows Malta - well, what wouldn’t? - but it doesn’t have that Bon Jovi stadium rock arms in the air anthemic feel that it strives for. The trick that Foreigner did lads was to put a gospel choir in the chorus - and that’s what you need. The road is long (as it always is) is belted out in the chorus - this song is trite like its lyric.
32. NORWAY
Again, unaccountably, this is a fan favourite. Well it would work ok in The Lion King, but “Haba Haba” isn’t really going to get Europe singing. This has all the authenticity of the savannah as found in Norway - i.e. hardly any. Sadly, this doesn’t work on any of the many levels it is striving to get over on. Ok we’ll sing “Haba Haba” in the stadium, but I suspect the watching audience won’t. Bye bye.
33. POLAND
“Jestem” to me has the qualities in a bouncy piece of Euro-pop that Hungary is lacking. It has a good vocal and a catchy chorus and bounces along with shoulder swaying danceability. However, it doesn’t have enough to stand out as a winner. it is a Britney Gaga filler song. Pleasant three minutes indeed, but not one I would play on repeat. Bit like much of this cd so far.
34. PORTUGAL
Into the last part of cd 2 with perennial strugglers Portugal again bringing something unique to the contest with this jaunty sailors sing-along that has enough handclaps to keep even the most avid avid happy. “A Luta” indeed - ho hum
35. ROMANIA
And suddenly its back to a good song - number three on this cd I think. This rolls along splendidly and “Change” will see Romania back in the top 10. Like Finland, the song is pleasantly aspirational, and has some finger clicking. Nice bits of filling break the song up and down to bridge to the trumpet driven final chorus. Ok it’s a bit by numbers at the end, but I like it.
36. SERBIA
“Caroban” is Serbia’s entry and again has its supporters, and once more it has nothing that sticks in my mind after any number of plays. Some say it has the feel of a sixties girl group; I would hope more say that it has the whiff of a non-qualifier. Dull, dull, dull!
37. RUSSIA
“Get You” sings Alex Sparrow - and he is destined for a high finish - well it’s Russia in’it! But the song is a little dull, using the oh-wo build in the chorus we have heard several times before. Again, the sum of its parts and the whole doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. All in all, the votes it will get are a bit undeserved by the lite-piece of eurobeat.
38. SWEDEN
Now this is the victim of fan derision as being derivative schlager and copied in part from “Night Flight To Venus”, but then everyone to whom I have played this loves it. And I love it. Catchy as anything, with a whistling entree, even the clunky impossible/possible lyrics can be forgiven by the big widescreen sweep of the best chorus in the contest. I would see this being top 5 on the saturday night. “Popular” should win over kids, mums, gays and grandmas. And you can sing it straight after the first chorus and it lingers in the mind. The best song on cd 2 no question! One of my three favourites from this year!
39. SLOVENIA
Well after Sweden, no one can really compete, and to be honest “No One” doesn’t really try to. Doomy piano chords and a menacing opening vocal show promise, but the misplaced mid-paced chorus rather lets the side down. The music gathers its skirts up to try to get you emotionally involved in the shrieking drama - but by then your mind has wandered away. Sorry. Maybe Celine could carry this off; maybe not.
40. SLOVAKIA
Slightly less gloomy piano chords and slightly less doomy vocals and a similar mid-paced chorus enlivened by Lady Antebellum/Wilson-Phillips singing means this is almost indistinguishable from Slovenia. “I Am Still Alive” sing these twins - and in their case the road is not too wide rather than too long. And they sing about fire, but there is no desire rhyme. Pah!
41. SAN MARINO
Lawks almighty. This starts off singing about waves of eternity and waves of serenity. there is even a holding back these years cliche thrown in. “Stand By” sings Senit and is the third of three forgettable mid-paced ballads. See if you can get a stand-by flight back home after the semi is my advice. Mawkish lyrics, by numbers music - pretty dreadful all in all.
42.TURKEY
“Live It Up” is the title of this, and it is one of my favourite songs of the contest - indeed the opening lyric tells me this is my favourite song. This is modern indie-alt-rock-pop which wouldn’t be out of place on 6 Music. Again, there are plenty of interesting instrumental and vocal fills in the background under the pumping driving main tune. This lot aren’t mental as anything, but this could easily be a challenger for the coveted trophy. My favourite song this year in the contest.
43. UKRAINE
Once again, the recorded version of the Ukrainian song suggests it is nothing much, but year after year the staging transcends the material. So once again, this is nothing much lacking a real chorus and much of a hook except that she seems to suggest we are Crystal-lite. It is called “Angel” - it is a bit boring, I don’t like it, and it will no doubt finish high in the voting.
So there you have it; all in all a good year, not many clunkers, lots of pretty reasonable songs and a fair sprinkling of songs that I really like. I think Azerbaijan is the song to beat. Turkey would get my vote.
My top 10
Turkey
Finland
Bosnia
Latvia
Sweden
UK
Azerbaijan
Denmark
Belarus
Macedonia
